Ryan Hare explains it all

15 points on 5-of-9 shooting from the freshman guard who hails from Chicago. Too bad it came in a losing effort ... and by losing effort I mean 22-point loss to Creighton.

This from Hare in the post-game press conference.

"This is a tough loss because we really didn't compete in the first half and we had a packed house. I just want to apologize to the fans because we didn't compete in the first half."

Couldn't say it better myself.

Kobe, you f@#$%*& idiot!

Kobe, are you pointing at someone smarter than you?

"Cathartic? I ain't go to college. I don't know what cathartic means." - Kobe Bryant.

It would be really easy to insert a joke about how Kobe doesn't know what "no" means either, but alas, I'll pass.

But seriously, Kobe, you're better than that. You don't get an increase in street cred for being stupid.

Mike Patrick just Plaxico'd himself: During Thursday's bowl game between Georgia and Michigan State, the incomparable Mike Patrick of ESPN dropped a nugget after a penalty on third down (caught by the Detroit Free Press Live Blog): "Georgia is just pulling a Plaxico. They just keep shooting themselves." The quote was followed by silence in the booth and "wtf?" followed by laughter in my basement.. It's not the first time Patrick spoke before thinking. I'm sure he is still wondering what Britney Spears is doing with her life. Questionable usage considering the troublemaking wide receivers tied to Michigan State.

Cris Carter wants to Plaxico Burress T.O.

Transcription (for those of you who are hearing impaired):

"If it was me, I'd get rid of T.O. T.O. got to go from the beginning. Right from the giddy up. I take one bullet and put it right in him. Bam!"

Sure, Dallas Cowboys wide receiver is no saint I'm not sure if those are the best words to use in this day of the NFL.

Sports Speak: The 'Their record isn't indicative of how good they are' Edition

I sense a disturbing trend coming from the world of press conferences.

I understand why coaches are very careful with their words. They don't want to provide bulletin board material for opponents. They don't want their players to see their words about their competition to the point where the players will slack off thinking they're facing a cupcake.

Yet, my alter ego (Stat Boy) cannot allow this to go any further. He is confused because numbers don't lie, right?

SIU men's basketball coach, Chris Lowery, the floor is yours.

"They're a much better team than 2-6," Lowery said. "Every game they've played has been like this. It's come down to the last possession, last shot."

Stat Boy says: With all due respect, Charlotte's 2-6 record is indicative of the team it fields on a daily basis. Of the 49ers' six losses, they have two one-point losses, a three-point loss and a five point loss.

And they're not playing the little sisters of the poor, either. The team's to have defeat Charlotte (Old Dominion, Clemson, Arizona State, Providence and Cal-State Fullerton) have a combined record of 33-14. Of those squads, Clemson is 9-0 and ASU is ranked No. 19. On the other hand, ODU is .500 (3-3), CSF is one game under the break even point (4-5).

So credit Charlotte's AD for putting together a tough non-conference schedule, but good teams find ways to turn those 'Ls' into 'Ws' because really those are the only stats that matter. But if you want to be a good team, then you have to beat good teams. If not, you're going to be an average or even below average team.

It's as simple as that.

As for the opponents in 49er victories (SIU and UNC Greensboro), they've combined to post a 4-9 record.

Oh yeah, about C-Lo's crew. The floor now belongs to the representative from Charlotte, Bobby Lutz.

"I don't think their record is indicative of how good they are," Lutz said. "I know they are the most physical team we've played this year, and we've played some pretty good teams."

Stat Boy say: Lutz might be correct on this one, as every coach that faces the Salukis comments on the physical nature in which the Egyptian Hunting Dawgs play the game.

Duke's Coach K lauded SIU defenders for being aggressive without the need to run a full court press. UCLA's Ben Howland applauded the Salukis' defensive efforts, and that's high praise coming from one of the nation's top defensive coaches. Heck, even Saint Louis head man Rick Majerus gave Southern's "D" the thumbs up in between stories of the olden days and basically calling Brett Thompson the next Michael Doleac.

Still, Stat Boy could (and would) argue that the Salukis' 3-4 record is indicative of the team that takes the court on a nightly basis.

They're young and talented as six newcomers are averaging at least 11 minutes per game, two of them start (Ryan Hare and Torres Roundtree) and Kevin Dillard was a former starter. Then there's junior forward Christian Cornelius who might as well be a newcomer as is averaging double-digit minutes for the first time in his career because he's finally shaken the injury bug.

(Knock on wood)

But with youth comes inexperience. And with inexperience comes the streaky play that comes with players still adjusting to the collegiate game.

Dillard is the perfect example of Southern's up-and-down season. Illinois' reigning Mr. Basketball has had several highlight-reel moments early this season. He has dazzled crowds and defenders with a combination of flashy passes and dribbling that would make crowds at the Rucker stand and cheer. He's shooting 50 percent from beyond the arc and averaging 9.7 points per game, to boot.

Then again, he makes youthful mistakes with some passes when they go awry. Or takes shots early in the shot clock. It's the gift and the curse of young stars.

That's what you get out of .500 teams. You get games that make you say "Wow, this team is going to be good." Then you get games that leave you saying "This is going to be a long season."

Don't get me wrong, there is plenty of basketball to be played this season. SIU has yet to even break into Missouri Valley Conference play, and that will be the ultimate indicator of where the season is going to go.

Until then, don't be surprised if this season is a rollercoaster.

(Photo credit to the best photo editor in the history of the world, Stephen Rickerl, who caught a very disappointed photo of SIU head coach Chris Lowery during the team's 66-64 loss against Charlotte).

Majerus: D'oh!

Photo courtesy of Sean McGahan, who was kind enough to shoot the SIU-SLU press conference for me. Thanks Sean! Here's some free linkage for you!

Sitting through Rick Majerus' post-game press conference after SIU downed SLU 64-48 was downright painful.

Sorry, Rick.

Listening to a man who sounded as if he was about to be put out to pasture after his team's most recent disappointing effort. It's a far cry from the Majerus that shined as a color analyst for ESPN's college hoops coverage. Or the coach that was eager to take the USC job before thinking twice and going back to the broadcast booth.

Remember when he was leading Michael Doleac and Keith Van Horn to the Final Four? I still can't believe that was 13 years ago. It's almost sad.

The following are quotables from Majerus' postgame presser.

Majerus on SIU:

"I'd be surprised if they did not win their league. They've got older players and good depth. I thought their freshmen played well. They're a good club, and I applaud them for their effort. They clearly beat us."

And then, coach goes off on a tanget Hawk and DJ would be proud of:

"I really have hated coming back to coaching for this reason. It used to be where you had six weeks and you could practice but you could. I'm giving them a lot to academics. And I'm asking them to meet at my place for lunch, all the freshman, to talk about everything but basketball. I mean, I will not bring up basketball. I'm going to talk to them about some life issues and some academic issues and you know tonight I was telling them the story about Johnnie Johnson and Freddie Brown. You know "Downtown" Freddie Brown won Big 10 championships and two Seattle SuperSonic championships and was all-pro i will never forget not retiring his number but we never got him a degree you know but tomorrow is an important day you know and i'm going to spend two hours with them explaining life skills and life situations. And ..."

See, I can't even finish the quote. Majerus rambles on about stuff I'm not sure happened. It's almost like Hawk and DJ on ChiSox broadcasts when Hawk begins skwaking about the good ol' days when Carl Yasztrzesmski roamed the earth and saved the U.S. from the Commies while batting .325 with the Red Sox.

Lost in this quote is an exchange between Rick and Tom Timmerman of the St. Louis Post-Dispatch, whose phone goes off in the middle of Majerus' monologue.

"Go ahead are you going to take that?"
"No, I'm not sure who that is."

I'm calling shenanigans as he took a call DURING Chris Lowery's portion of the press conference.

Back to Majerus, who dropped this nugget and I'm not sure why:

"In the land of the blind, the one eyed man is king."

I laughed out loud for that one. It's good to see that the big guy still has a little sense of humor left in him

Then he talks about bad habits by his youngsters, specifically freshman guard Ruben Cotto:

"I coach the whole game, you've got to play the whole game."

Makes sense. Majerus was talking about Cotto's flashes of brilliance being drowned out by silly freshman mistakes, such as unnecessary shot selection and gambling and missing on steals on the defensive end.

Majerus said Cotto and several of his youngsters have bad habits that have been with them since they began playing basketball. A good example was Willie Reed's shirt grabbing in the post. Something Majerus compared to poor journalism.

"You guys are writers. You have dangling modifiers your whole life, then you're writing bullshit columns."

No, he wasn't attacking us. Obviously because he hasn't read the golden prose I put forth on a daily basis for the Daily Egyptian. He was making a point, that you can get by with bad habits all your life if you're a star (*coughJayMariotticough*) but there's a point where you can't anymore and when that point happens, you're fucked.

That's all from the land of press conferences. I'm going to bed.

News, notes, quotes & more

It was a rough night in New York City for the SIU men's basketball team against Duke.

Check that. A rough night would have been an improvement.

It was a tough shooting night not only for the Salukis (20-57 for 35.1%), but also for the Blue Devils (18-42 for 42.9%) and that's mostly because they basically shot lights out in the last 10 minutes of the second half ... and how can you not when you're dunking on everything SIU has to offer.

Duke won the game at the charity stripe by shooting 47 free throws and making 40(!) of them. Yeah, that's 85 percent, so yeah, they made the most of their opportunities, but that's a classic discrepancy that you would only see when Duke plays a "non-power" school.

Sean McGahan breaks it down for the Daily Egyptian as SIU head coach Chris Lowery blamed poor defensive positioning for the fouls.

I blame the zebras for knowing the name on the front of the jerseys worn by the team ranked No. 5 in the nation.

Yeah, I went there. But that's Duke being Duke. If you read my blog from the other day, you wouldn't have been surprised with the Blue Devils making more free throws than Southern attempted.

Now for tidbits from New York City:

• "That's a very good point." Direct quote from Duke coach Mike Krzyzewski after I asked him a question. That's right, Coach K gave me a +1 on a question. He was a lot nicer in the presser than I thought he would be ... granted as a UNC fan I was sure he was the devil. He was joking about Dean Smith and Bobby Knight and even had some cracks about his beat writers. I can't wait to see what he has for me today, maybe he'll give me a thumbs up on my outfit. Or my beard. Who knows when this will end.
• Speaking of outfits, +2 for C-Lo for repping the maroon shirt and maroon-ish tie last night. Very sharp! I wonder if he went to the Prato store and got suits 2 for $125 ... seriously we saw a store like that around Times Square.
• Oh yeah, speaking of Time Square ... WOW! It's huge! Everything was turned on! I was seriously in awe of my surroundings. It's so brightly colored, it's ridiculous. That's the only way I can describe it.
  
• When Steven, Sean and myself stepped on to Madison Square Garden's property I turned to Sean and asked him "do you smell that?" and I could have been talking about the grilled chicken kabobs we just passed. I wasn't. "It's the smell of the House That Jordan Torched." It was the first of many jabs I took at the Knicks last night.
• My mother called to see how I was doing in the Big Apple and asked me where I was. "Madison Square Garden, Ma" was what I replied. "No, it's just the Garden" said my mother, a native New Yorker. "No, Ma, it's got a new name ... 'The House That Jordan Torched.'" Mom could only reply with a simple "whatever."
• My seats in the "press box" were probably the best seats I'll ever have at the Garden. Right behind the basket to the right. I could see everything. Everyone. It felt special, and to be honest, I was tense with nerves for most of the first half.
• No Brandon Jacobs. No Walt Frazier. Sad face. I wanted to know what Frazier said in his pregame video speech to SIU, but it's a moot point after a 25-point loss.
• Duke fans are evil people. Evil. And annoying. Mostly annoying. With the loudest guy in the entire arena blasting his mouth off at every turn, he only shut up when someone brought him a beer. You would think that would have made it worse, but it was like giving a baby a bottle. All quiet after that.

Quotable, by Starbury

Quotable? Is that an offshoot of his affordable shoe brand?

Not a chance.

Quotable is what fallen star Stephon Marbury has become now that he's the official victory cigar* of the New York Knicks.

*victory cigar. def.: Player used only in garbage time of a blowout win.

Starbury's benching has got him saying all sorts of crazy sh*t (via ESPN):

"Looking back at the last two years, I kind of liked Larry Brown."

No one likes Larry Brown. No one, except Detroit Pistons when they won the NBA championship under his reign.

Shoot, it was Larry Brown fighting his former roommate after he transferred from UNC to Duke which started the Carolina-Duke rivalry. Again, no one likes Larry Brown. Except the Pistons and apparently fellow UNC grad Michael Jordan. Oh, and now, Starbury.

But wait, there's more.

"I kind of liked Larry Brown."

Alright Steph, we get it. You've got a man crush on Larry Brown. Wait you have more to say?

"I'm like, 'Man, I wish this guy was here to drill me now.'"

Oh man, that was too much information. I should have left this interview while I still had the chance.

'It's where receivers go to die'

The Moose is loose and verbally insulting the Chicago Bears' offensive scheme.

Muhsin Muhammad, the popular ex-Bear best known for ending the Kyle Orton experience in 2005, is speaking out against Ron Turner's offensive system (and I mean offensive in both meanings of the word.)

"It's where receivers go to die."

Moose has a point, for in his three years as the Bears top target, he averaged only 54 receptions and 4 TDs. A drastic downfall compared to the 93 grabs and 16 touchdowns he secured in his last season with the Carolina Panthers.

But wait, there's more.

"In the time Brett Favre has started for the Packers -- what's it been, 16 years?
-- I bet the Bears have had 16 different starting quarterbacks. You've got to
find the right guy and stick with him."

So where was this last year? Or the year before?

One of the reasons Moose is no longer with the Monsters of the Midway is because his hands turned to stone in 2007, so it's good to see that Moose's feet still work, because he's kicking the Bears while their down.

As for the offense, it's bad and not getting any better soon.

The Bears say they have two quarterbacks. That means they have none. Their offensive line (outside of Olin Kreutz) is just that, offensive. And they'll be relying heavily on a rookie at tailback and a guy who might as well be a rookie as their new No. 1 target.

Today's Bear-naked prediction: 5-11.

Peter King's Monday Morning Quarterback

Um...The ESPYs Forgot An Award

Courtesy of the Daily Egyptian.

And the understatement of the year goes to...

"They underachieved, obviously, but with us four coming in we should be able to pick that up. They need some kids who can score and help out, and I think we can really do that for them."

Welcome to Saluki basketball, Torres Roundtree.

Roundtree joins guards Ryan Hare, Illinois' Mr. Basketball Kevin Dillard, Justin Bocot and forward Anthony Booker as newcomers to the Southern Illinois men's basketball program looking to rebound from a disappointing 18-win campaign that saw SIU land in the NIT, missing the NCAA Tourney for the first time since 2001.

Gone from that squad are star forwards Randal Falker and Matt Shaw, who averaged 25.5 points per game, accounting for 40.7 % of the team's scoring (for those of you who want a lil' bit of Stat Boy action on a Monday morning.)

The only returning starter to average double digits is senior floor general Bryan Mullins. Mullins, the Missouri Valley Conference's Defensive Player of the Year, averaged 10.7 points per game and will be in charge of jump start an offense that averaged only 62.6 points per game during the 2007-08 season.

Filling up the basket would be a step in the right direction for a program known for its stifling defense. In 2008, the magic number for the Dawgs was 63, where they went 16-1 when scoring 63 or more points.

No pressure, Mr. Roundtree.