Operation Shut Down: Seven Steps The Cubs Need To Take As The 2009 Season Winds Down

So, how long until Lou Piniella gets the memo that the Cubs are done?  THere is no sign like being blasted by the Washington Frickin' Nationals, that's for sure.

When the Cubs were out of it under Dusty Baker, the Cubs continued to trot out Prior, Wood and the rest of the regulars for the sake of a "fair" pennant race for everyone else.  For the record, I don't give two turds about anyone else's playoff races.  The Cubs' season is already spoiled, so I don't understand the point of endangering a key member for the 2010 team for the sake of competition.

So here is an idiot's guide of how to approach the next 39 games.

1. Shut down Big Z, Lilly, Harden & Wells.  Yeah, that's four-fifths of the starting rotation, but they did their jobs this year and there is no point wasting next year's bullets on this year's squad.  Wells is approaching a career-high in innings pitched and Lilly, Harden & Zambrano have each seen some time on the DL this year.  Those are your horses, give them some rest and restart them once February rolls around.

Trot out Dempster, Gorzelanny, Marshall and ...

2. Free Jeff Samardzija.  Let him start.  There's your fourth starter.  $10 million guaranteed and a no-trade clause, let's see what this guy is all about.  Let's see what he has.  If he's got something worth a damn, put him somewhere he can succeed or trade him to a place where he won't invoke that stupid clause.  If all else fails, ship 'em off to Halas Hall.  Jay Cutler might want a new play toy.

3. Rest Ramirez.  While we're on the topic of shutting people down, might as well do that to Aramis.  See if he needs surgery, if so, get it done.  If not, tell him to stay away from cock-fighting this summer before Roger Goodell spanks him.  Let Jake Fox play third every day from here on out.

4.  Send an edict to Alfonso Soriano.  I want at least two stolen bases from you every week from here on out until the season is over.  Also, I want you to play second base.  I want you to take infield practice like Roger Dorn at second base.  That will be your new position because the Cubs need to open up an outfield spot to get a more athletic player to play in those carnivorous cavernous west coast ball parks.

Let's be honest, signing Chone Figgins makes too much sense for the Cubs to do.

5.  Let's see if Carlos Marmol can close.  Lou: "Carlos, you pitch the ninth inning and the ninth inning only, got it?"  Carlos: "Yes sir, Mr. Piniella."  Lou: "Good you (expletive deleted), now get some outs."  That's it.  No need to waste Marmolade in an extra-inning affair -- it's not like you're going to win it anyway.

6. Set up the rest of 2009 bullpen.  One last shut down victim: Angel Guzman.  Shut him down before his arm flies off.  He had a good year, but has been injury prone in the past.  As for the rest of the pen, Piniella should let Justin Berg, Esmailin Caridad, Jeff Stevens and any other youngster who thinks they can pitch at this level do their damn thing and be done with it.  If the Cubs can avoid spending a ton of money on over-the-hill bullpen pitchers, it would be greatly appreciated.

7. Send Aaron Miles & Aaron Heilman away.  Send 'em far away.  Don't let them come back.  Ever.

Soon enough, I'll have an offseason guide that will be more detailed than the irresponsibly early guide.  This one will be chock-full of the similar sarcastic B.S. you get from me any how.  But with real, heart-touching advice.

Milton Bradley & Haterade

 "What are you putting in my Haterade?"

I'm getting sick and tired of defending Milton Bradley.  I do it partially because I feel he has yet to get a fair shake from Cubs fans and the media.  And for probably the first time in this blog's history, I'm linking the media and the fans as Bradley's united front.

Fans belly-ached about the loss of Mark DeRosa so much, the Chicago media hopped on it and made the deal its own crusade in which to fight against Bradley.  Yet, until recently, no blame has gone to the guy who recruited and signed the outfielder to a three-year deal.

It's not like Bradley put a gun to Hendry's head and forced him to sign.

Then there's this in today's Tribune online edition, via Paul Sullivan:

Milton Bradley said after Tuesday's loss he's "never" comfortable playing at Wrigley Field. 

"It's hard to be comfortable when you don't get a hit and get booed every time," he said. "When I go home and look in the mirror, I like what I see. My family is there I have people I can talk to who are very supportive, in spite of everything and all the adversity and the hatred you face on a daily basis. But I'll be alright. I always have."

Of course, Bradley's harshest critic, Steve Stone Dave Kaplan chimed in with his blog as well.

Milton, you don't face hatred. You face a fan base that is frustrated with your play this season and the fact that you were brought here to be a run producer and you have the grand total of  32 RBI's and are hitting just .259. Cubs fans want production and effort but when they see a guy who isn't producing he becomes a target of their frustrations.

Expecting Bradley, whose career high 77 RBIs last year, to be a run producer was a major mistake on Hendry's behalf.  And yes, he does face hatred Kap.  All day every day, he gets to hear from bleacher bums who whack it to posters on their ceilings of Mark DeRosa.  Their disenchantment with Bradley stems from Hendry's wild, unattainable expectations of a lefty-swinging run producer that history has shown is not a lefty-swinging run producer.

Kap should imagine going to work each day and having to hear from his friends and co-workers that he'll never be as good of a baseball writer/analyst as Buster Olney.  Or that he'll never have as good of a radio show as Jim Rome.  All day.  Every day.

That's what it has got to be like for Bradley.

Yes, Cubs fans, you have a right to voice your displeasure toward Crazy Uncle Milton for his .259 batting average, nine homers and 32 runs batted in.  But don't forget to channel some of that anger toward the guy who brought him here and mislabeled him in the first place.

Geez, from the looks of things, Jim Hendry has done nothing but mislabel his entire outfield.

Sounds like a fireable offense to me.  Go get 'em Tom Ricketts.

Follow The Sox? I'd Rather Follow The Blind

If following the Reinsdorfian Model of Success includes making out with Mark Buehrle and jizzing on his head, then you can count me out!

South Siders got it right? Well, not quite.

Chicago Sun-Times columnist is no P.J. Franklin, by any means. So I guess maybe I should take it easy on her in regards to her latest column fodder in which she suggests new Cubs owner Tom Ricketts follows the game plan of the South Side White Sox.

The column reads as if the White Sox were run like a well-oiled machine drowning in a sea of championship trophies.  A little bit of research shows that Carol Slezak obviously didn't do hers.

Let's take a look at the White Sox since 1986, which is a fair point to start from in my case because it marks the first year of my existence.  The South Siders have notched four playoff appearances since the result of my mother and father's mistake I was born.  The first coming in 1993 and the most recent coming in 2008.  From 1987 (my first full year of birth) to 1993, the Sox averaged a little more than 80 wins per year, thanks in part to 267 wins from 1990-92, which helped balance out a .448 winning percentage from 1987-89the.  And unless you're breeding mediocrity, this is not how you want a franchise to be won.

Slezak suggests following the Reinsdorfian model?  Really?  Why would Ricketts want to follow a management group that hired Ken "The Hawk" Harrelson as its general manager, who ended up firing Tony LaRussa?  Sounds almost as silly as handing LaRussa your keys after a night on the town.

Truth be told, the Cubs haven't been much better, making five playoff appearances since being born as they clinched four division titles and a Wild Card spot, too.  As Sleezebag Slezak points out, the Cubs have built an outfield full of losers with Alfonso Soriano, Kosuke Fukudome and Milton Bradley.

Again, it's easy to ride on Soriano this year, but not a peep was heard from April through September the last two years.  Then, adding Bradley, who led the American league with a .999 OPS last season, should have made the outfield better based on stats alone.  But it's easier to take blinded swipes than it is to log onto baseball-reference.com, I guess.

The only thing the White Sox have on the Cubs, of course, is the most important thing in baseball: A World Series ring.  I could go the route of ignorance and note that the White Sox still play jealous little brother with a snotty (yet, ballsy) GM who pokes more jabs at the Cubs than he does at teams in his own division, a broadcast booth that feeds into a fan-base that acts like a jilted former lover by spewing Cub-flavored Haterade on a daily basis and a Twittering fool (account protected) who had more posts about a team he used to cover than the team he currently covers. This, of course, the same Twittering fool that Steve Rosenbloom wants to anoint as team president despite the fact that he has as much experience in that role as, say, the other celebs he names in his blogcolumn.

All that despite the team's 2005 championship.

Heck, if Ricketts wanted to follow a Reinsdorfian model of success, it should be the Chicago Bulls from 1987 to 1998.  Yes, Reinsdorf and the Bulls lucked into Michael Jordan, but it was what Reinsdorf and the organization's ability to draft and build around His Airness with role players such as Scottie Pippen and Horace Grant, among others.

Acquire. Develop. Win. Profit.

That was the recipe when the Yankees were winning their championships. The Braves used that same methodology to win a bazillion straight division titles. It's the same recipe Ricketts should use when he finally digs into the mess left behind by Sam Zell, Jim Hendry and the preceding ownership group.

However, that looks doubtful amidst this report.  So, how long until Cubs fans will be clamoring for a new owner?

Better yet.

How long until Cubs fans again start clamoring for Mark Cuban?

Your Irresponsibly Early Guide To Free Agent Saviors For The Cubs

The Cubs are done. Sorry, kiddies. It's time to go back to school, also known as the daily six-hour distraction from not thinking about ways to dismantle Kevin Gregg limb-by-limb before feeding him to Hannibal Lecter. And if you're lucky enough to go to school with Cardinals fans, then you really need to work hard to get out of the slow class.

Speaking of the slow class, I'm hoping Jim Hendry gets greeted with an axe upon seasons end, unless of course he wises up and decides that he doesn't want to make bad baseball decisions this offseason. And that's as doubtful as Milton Bradley's mental health. Thankfully, Jim has a friend in me.

And while I did read a 1,900 word piece on what the Cubs should do this offseason, I've condensed it and made it better.

1. Sign Chone Figgins. He's proven he can play everyday and he's proven he can be versatile. He switch hits, steals bases and plays second base. Top of the order guy? You betcha!

2. Sign Jose Valverde. Prior to this injury-plagued season, Valverde converted 91 saves. He throws hard and his name is not Kevin Gregg. Need another reason? He owns the Cubs (13 saves, 0.77 ERA) over his career.

3. Bring back Rich Harden. Dick Hardon is 3-1 with a 1.64 ERA, 0.773 WHIP and 55 strikeouts in 44 innings. Once his time comes and Valverde's contract expires, the Cubs can turn him into Trevor Hoffman Part II.

4. Bring bullpen help. Needs include two lefty specialst (Billy Wagner?) and a guy not named Kevin Gregg who can get righties out. Angel Guzman and Carlos Marmol are fine set-up guys. Middle relief has not lived up to its name this season.

5. Give Brandon Webb a chance. There is a possibility that Webb gets bought out from his contract, since he won't be pitching for a good chunk of next year. This is when the Cubs take a flier on him, let him rehab at his own pace. Then bring him out and allow him to torture NL hitters for a long term deal. In the meantime, Sean Marshall or Tom Gorzelanny can have that fifth-starter role.

Other "needs" include: Back-up catcher, fourth outfielder that spends more time on the field than on the DL, a GM that understands how to develop a strong minor league system, a manager who hasn't let the game pass him by.

There, that wasn't painful. All in less than 500 words.

Mythbusting: The 2009 Chicago Cubs

The Cubs have fallen and can't get up!

Contrary to popular belief ... a blog about disproving theories floating around Wrigleyville and the blogosphere.

Adding Milton didn't have to mean saying bye to DeRosa, Marquis

The Cubs did not have to get rid of Mark DeRosa and Jason Marquis to make room for Milton Bradley. DeRosa and Marquis made a total of $15.375 million this year. The first year of Bradley's contract was only worth $5 million. And with DeRosa and Marquis coming off the books after the '09 season, the two remaining years at $10 million each for Bradley would make sense.

Bradley = Edmonds, not DeRosa

The most polarizing right fielder since the last No. 21 to roam around the ivy-colored walls didn't replace Mark DeRosa at second, in fact, he hasn't played infield all year. Bradley, in essence replaced Jim Edmonds.

In fact, Hendry failed as soon as he targeted Bradley as a run-producing lefty stick. Bradley posted career highs in home runs (22), runs batted in (77) and OPS (.999) last season in Texas. His previous career highs in those categories came in 2004 with the Dodgers (19 HR, 67 RBI) and a .923 OPS in 2003 with Cleveland.

Despite the Raul Ibanez and Bobby Abreu love, the right choice was (and always has been) Adam Dunn. Hendry couldn't even put the blame on Dunn's defense, seeing that Crazy Uncle Milt touched the outfield as often as Mel Rojas converted saves for the Cubs in 1997. Jim Hendry takes responsibility for the suckfest that has been the 2009 Cubs. For most fans that means he's taking responsibility for Milton Bradley's slow start and lack of power.

Dunn has averaged 40 homers and nearly 100 ribbies in his big league career. At Wrigley, he owns a career 1.003 OPS and .286 batting average. Signing Dunn would have saved Hendry a few precious breaths of air when he laid this lollipop B.S. answer for the media about Milt's slow start, "'For whatever reason, we've had a history of guys who've come in the first year of their deals and it takes awhile."

Replacing DeRosa at second base was Mike Fontenot, who was coming off a season in which he hit .305 with 9 home runs and a .909 OPS in only 284 plate appearances and was scheduled to make $5,070,000 less than DeRosa in 209. But unlinke middle-infield partner Ryan Theriot, Fontenot had not yet seen the rigors of a full season. Aaron Miles was signed to a two-year deal to play second, short and third in a pinch. He was coming from a division rival, but also coming off a career-year. Hendry should have been wary of those factors before replacing DeRosa with the unknown.

There is, nor was there ever justification for the Kevin Gregg trade

The Kevin Gregg trade is even more puzzling than not replacing DeRosa with a proven major leaguer or signing Bradley. Trading away years of controlled Jose Ceda (a prospect once deemed untouchable enough to hold back in a trade for Brian Roberts) for one year (and $4.2 million) of a closer who faltered in a pitchers ballpark without much pressure. In a hitters park and the monumental weight of replacing a fan-favorite, Gregg absolutely collapsed. The Cubs had their closer-of-the-future waiting in the wings in Carlos Marmol and an up-and-coming Angel Guzman. Hendry's bullpen really faltered when they acquired Aaron Heilman ($1.625 million) while not being able to find LOOGY help in the process.

And really, it's not like Kerry Wood (15 saves, 1.381 WHIP, 4.71 ERA) is tearing up the world in Cleveland. Still would have been nice to get some compensation out of losing him to free agency.

Breaking up Blanco stunted Geo's growth

Letting Henry Blanco go sucked, but he hasn't come close to duplicating last years numbers. Neither has Geovany Soto, come to think of it. Maybe separating those two was like breaking up a group with two strong voices in unison, but two "meh" voices when apart. Bringing in Paul Bako is like asking your line-up to have an automatic out in it.

Demp dump

The biggest money-mistake was bringing back Ryan Dempster to the tune of $8 million in '09 and up to $40 million in the next three years. Want to know why there's no Jake Peavy on the North Side? There's part of the answer. There is no way to justify handing $52 million to Dempster who hadn't made at least 30 starts since 2003, while posting his most wins since 2001, most strikeouts since 2002 and lowest WHIP since 2000. Long story short, Dempster hadn't been a legit starter since the early part of this decade. Yes, Dempster had a great 2008 regular season, but when the pressure was on in October, Dempster's carriage turned into a pumpkin. So did the Cubs.

So, are Cubs fans right to call for Hendry's head? Of course. He spearheaded the dismantling of a 97-win team for the sake of change. (At least he manned up and took the blame for it.) Still, that kind of ignorance is a fireable offense. Here's hoping that Tom Ricketts sees it that way, too. If not, get ready for a rebuilding process at Wrigley that doesn't involve falling debris.

Though, in essence, it might as well.

The One Shining Moment Of The 2009 Season: The Cubs (Finally) Have An Owner

For the first time in my lifetime, the Chicago Cubs have an owner that is not a nameless, faceless organization that also happens to be running a newspaper.

Welcome Tom Ricketts, to an organization that hasn't won a World Series in 100 years and is trying real hard to make it 101.

Tribune scribe Paul Sullivan has 10 suggestions for the new guy, and here are my five.

1. Don't listen to the weirdos. If someone begs you to not change the name of Wrigley Field, tell 'em to Plax themselves. Or if you want to be a nice guy, ask them if they would still care about the stadium's name if it meant the Cubs won a championship in 2010. If they say yes, then you can ignore them. They don't care about winning.
2. Bring in a real GM. Call up Oakland and write Billy Beane a blank check and tell him that he can actually work with a big boy budget. If he doesn't call back, maybe you can get in contact with Paul DePodesta in San Diego. And if you're really interested in a GM that loves to blog, contact me at bigdeadsidebar@gmail.com and we can talk business.
3. Lower beer prices. I'm jumping on Paul's bandwagon. Hopefully one day, I'll be in the press box (which should be expanded somehow if possible) and I won't need to buy beer at Wrigley. Until then, beer prices matter to me.
4. Lower ticket prices. It shouldn't cost me Mark Prior's bum arm, Alfonso Soriano's shoddy legs and Kyle Farnsworth's illegitimate baby to see the Cubs get smoked by an inferior team.
5. Fire Carrie Muskat. There is a young, hungry sports writer who's one goal in life is to be the Chicago Cubs beat writer. Hire me. Now.

Other suggestions include anything on this list (then applying it to Aaron Miles too), saying goodbye to Jim Hendry, bleacher-babe cheerleaders, and bringing in Greg Maddux as pitching coach and Mark Grace as pimping hitting coach. Oh, and there's this Albert Pujols guy who becomes a free agent in 2011 ... hand him a blank check too, while you're at it.

Alright, kiddies. Go celebrate a new day in Cubs lore!

Ten Ways To Exile Kevin Gregg

Last night's game-losing blast actually did land on the moon. Say, is that Albert Pujols' ball off Brad Lidge from the NLCS???

In a move that has "too little, too late" written all over it, Kevin Gregg has been exiled from the ninth inning and has been reassigned to blow games in the sixth, seventh or eighth innings rather than the ninth.

But for me, and most Cubs fans with half a brain, that's not enough. Gregg has got to go. For good. Yes, his contract expires at the end of the year, but at this point of the season, year end can't come soon enough.

In the meantime, here are 10 ways we can get Gregg gone from Chicago.

10. Implications of steroid use. Manny Ramirez caught a 50 game suspension earlier in the season, and one of those suspensions would serve the Cubs' bullpen well right now. If someone can throw a syringe or two in Gregg's locker, have a package marked 'HGH' sent to his home or inject him while under the cover of night, he'd be as good as gone.

It's too bad he doesn't take performance enhancers. After this season's performance, maybe he should.

9. Tie him to Mike Vick's dogfighting ring. As I said last night via Twitter, "Kevin Gregg is to Cub fans what Mike Vick was to dogs: Cruel & Inhumane." He's blown six saves, given up three game-winning home runs and leads NL relievers with 12 home runs allowed -- which is two more than he's allowed in the last two seasons.

If someone can link between Gregg's cruel and unreasonable treatment of Cubs fans with Bad Newz Kennels, Roger Goodell would bitch-slap Bud Selig and suspend Gregg himself.

8. One night with Dirty 30. Here's the plan: 1. Hit Gregg with frying pan, make sure he is knocked out. 2. Put blonde wig and eye-liner on passed out Gregg. 3. Send him to a New York area bar with Dirty 30. Watch the sparks fly. Opposing hitters might only be hitting .229 this year against Gregg, but everyone knows Dirty 30 is always batting 1.000!

7. One night as R. Kelly's wing man. Yeah, Kellz beat his case, but someone who sings the lyric, "Shorty if you're thirsty, I got the good, good lemonade" in a song is disturbed. If Kellz can get Gregg on a remix (not sure why, but hang with me here), it won't be long until a blurry video surfaces alleging Kevin Gregg of giving and 14-year-old girl some of his lemonade.

6. One night with Donte Stallworth. Seriously, how does a man who gets behind the wheel of a car drunk, kill a man and only get 24 days in jail. Yet, Mike Vick, who ponies up some money for a dogfighting ring gets thrown to the wolves. This is what's wrong with the American punishment system. There is no way I can justify giving money for a dog-fighting ring as a worse offense than killing an innocent bystander while driving drunk.

5. A Plaxification. Picture this: Kevin Gregg goes to the club wearing sweatpants and accidentally shoots himself with the thing that was supposed to protect him.

4. Take him on the Maury show. Kevin Gregg has screwed the Cubs and their fans all year. So, who's to say he hasn't done the same with some hoochies looking to get a few dozen free paternity tests because they don't know which of these 27 guys is her baby's daddy.

A few trips to the Maury Show in New York should tie up some of his time.

3. Use a time travel device (part one). Go back in time. Bring the crazy Lou Piniella into 2009. Let him attack Kevin Gregg like he attacked Rob Dibble. Make sure all evidence points to Aaron Miles. Ensure Miles gets charged for murder.

It's too bad we know Aaron Miles' defense attorneys will bring up the very valid point that Miles can't hit anything.

2. Use a time travel device (part two). Warn Jim Hendry of a future of Kevin Gregg allowing game-losing gopher balls. And with each run Gregg allows that season, tell Hendry that 1,000 donut shops are closed in each city baseball is played in.

Then, there's no way Hendry makes this trade.

1. Use a time travel device (part three). One word: Abortion.

A Message To Jim Hendry

Ryan Dempster sucks. Kevin Gregg sucks. Aaron Heilman sucks.

Carlos Zambrano is on the DL. Rich Harden is behind schedule in joining him. Randy Wells is approaching the innings pitched danger zone as a rookie.


The Cubs have holes in the rotation and in the bullpen. Yet, there is apparently no interest from the Chicago Cubs in free-agent John Smoltz. But the Cardinals do.

All they would have to do is pay the pro-rated minimum.

That's it.

If they can't do that done because of "impending ownership change" then let's fold the tents over at Clark & Addison and contract the damn team.

Jim Hendry, you suck harder than all of the losers I mentioned in line one. If I was Tom Ricketts, I'd have a nice message waiting on your voicemail for you....

Power Rankings: Ranking The 2009 Cubs

Come grab some bench next to Sweet Uncle Lou...if you feel lucky. Punk.

After a weekend in Chicago, I thought today would be a good day to premier a special edition of Power Rankings. It is likely I will do this for the other Chicago teams I write about (Bears, Bulls) once their respective seasons roll around.

We'll work our way from the bottom up, shall we?

The Bottom 10

1. Kevin Gregg - I tried to be nice, but never again. The next time I write something nice about you will be if/when you deliver the final out that clinches a playoff spot, playoff game win, playoff series win, pennant-clinching or World Series-clinching win. Or whenever Luke over at Breakfast For The Block tells me you're no longer stinking up the joint.

2. Carlos Marmol - Throw f*cking strikes. I'm sick of this act. The 3.56 ERA is decent, but the 1.49 WHIP has got to go. So do the 11 hit batsmen. So do the 52 walks in just over 55.2 innings. I wouldn't mind if the Marmolade got a tweak of flavoring in Iowa ... or force feed him Greg Maddux footage of not walking people. Or both.

3. Ryan Dempster - You've been nothing but a disappointment since signing a four-year, $52 million deal in the offseason. You might have roofied fooled Jim Hendry, but you're not fooling me or my fellow Cubs fans. Your WHIP, H/9, HR/9 and ERA are all significantly higher. Your K/9, K/BB and likability are all down. Long story short, pitch like last year or go back to Canada.

4. Aaron Heilman - Can you believe Jim Hendry traded two guys to acquire Heilman from Seattle? Sure, Garrett Olson isn't lighting the world on fire and Ronnie Cedeno is still Ronnie Cedeno. But giving up two warm bodies for Aaron Frickin' Heilman is a fireable offense in my book.

5. Aaron Miles - You should go on the disabled list not because you're hurt, but because your inability to play baseball at a level that is worth a damn makes you a liability for this team. Go back to St. Louis, I'm sure Tony LaRussa needs a designated driver. Too bad you don't meet height requirements.

6. Jeff Samardzija - $10 million guaranteed (guaranteed!!!) for a guy who isn't even playing the sport he's actually good at. Is there a way the Cubs can trade him to the Bears? That's not a joke or a punchline. Get Jeff Spellcheck some pads, a helmet and a jersey with a number in the 80s and send him out to Bourbonnais.

7. Mike Fontenot - The other half of the Cajun Connection has either forgotten how to hit or has forgotten to eat his Wheaties in the morning. There's only room for one little person to do well, and your LSU buddy Ryan Theriot has that covered. Now, go get me some Cajun food goodness and a couple of those drop-dead gorgeous Southern Belle's I covet.

Now!

8. Sean Marshall - I have nothing against Marshall outside of the fact that he has absolutely been torched in August. A 2.667 WHIP is higher than the WHIPs he posted in the last two months combined. Sean, I like you, a lot. No homo. Just hide for the rest of the month and I'm sure you'll get your act together.

9. Neal Cotts - I don't care that you're not on the Cubs anymore. Your DL stint is without a doubt one of this season's highlights as far as I'm concerned. You need to find a new way to make an honest living, because pitchin' ain't easy.

10. Koyovany Sohill - Yeah, I combined the two scrub catchers we got on this team. Each is hitting .225 and have combined for 12 homers and 44 RBIs. That sucks. Plain and simple. I'd feel a lot better if certain members of the pitching staff could be handled a lot better than they have been.

Honorable Mention: Carlos Zambrano - Seriously, Big Z, get it together. Now. Not now, but right now. You're in the second year of a $91.5 million extension and you admit to not working hard. I'm not sure how to feel about that.

You've got a 3.35 ERA and a 7-4 record despite leading the starting rotation in walks allowed (57). Your WHIP shouldn't be 1.350. Should not. Go back to the 2004, 2005, or 2006 Big Z. The Big Z that wanted to pile-drive Jim Edmonds as he admired a popout to right field. The Big Z that used Michael Barrett as a punching bag and made him like it.

Allow me to speak for Cubs fans when I say, will the Real Big Z please stand up!

Here are the guys that aren't royally screwing the pooch. For the most part.

1. Derrek Lee - After a slow start, the slugging first baseman has done just that. In the season's first month, he OPSed .537, but has seen it rise in each month and currently stands at .910 thanks in large part to a steaming hot July in which he hit 9 HRs and 6 doubles en route to a 1.028 OPS in July.

2. Ryan Theriot - Early in the season, Theriot experimented with a power stroke that was reminiscent of the music career of a one-hit wonder. Since being lambasted constantly for abandoning his natural opposite-field swing by Bob Brenly, Theriot has re-gained his stroke and his eye at the plate.

3. Randy Wells - Sad, but true, Wells has been the Cubs' most consistent starting pitcher this year. His 1.196 WHIP ranks second among starters (behind Ted Lilly's 1.154) and third on the team. His 9-5 record and 3.01 earned run average make him a darkhorse candidate for NL Rookie of the Year.

4. Kosuke Fukudome - Saying K-Fuk has emerged as the teams' lead-off man is like saying Drake has a bright future in hip-hop. Fukudome's stats when leading off a game (.438/.571/.875/1.446) with five walks and seven hits. He's also silenced critics who said his offensive stats would fall off as he has shifted to center, thanks to a .283 batting average, .889 OPS and a .330 BAbip when playing center.

5. Rich Harden - Just look at his last 28 days, shall we? Record be damned (1-1), Harden can boast a 2.32 ERA, 40-11 strikeout-to-walk ratio, 0.871 WHIP in 31 innings. He might make for a fine closer one day, but right now, it is Harden who is pitching like a front-of-the-rotation starter.

6. Angel Guzman - The Goose has been the most reliable reliever for Lou Piniella, which makes him something like the valedictorian of summer school. He sports the best WHIP on the team (0.981) and makes wearing goggles cool. Unlike some jackasses...

7. Jake Fox - Cubs fans, you want Mark DeRosa? Here he is. Fox owns an .896 OPS and eight homers as a starter. He's played first, third, left, right and even caught in a pinch. If Larry Rothschild was Dave Duncan, he would have taught the kid a slider and a splitter and would be toiling in middle relief. If Ivan DeJesus could teach him how to play second base, he might actually be savior worthy.

8. Tom Gorzelanny - In his two wins as a Cubs starting pitcher, he's tossed 12.1 innings, struck out 14 batters while only walking four, and has a 0.826 WHIP. As we head into September, he's the wild-card and could lead the Cubs into the postseason if he keeps this up.

9. Jeff Baker - Who? How? Just check out what he did last week with his slash stats: .526/.571/.737/1.308. His lone homer as a Cub came as a 21st birthday gift to friend-of-the-program, Barton Lorimor. Big ups to a Baker I might come around to liking if he keeps this up.

10. Milton Bradley - The last month or so have been mighty fine for Crazy Uncle Milton. Public Enemy No. 1 has hit .414, on-based .469 and OPSed .986 since settling into the two-hole. His batsh*t crazy personality might be able to distract some teams as the Cubs try to sneak into a playoff spot.

Cub Notes: Because Analysis Ain't Overrated

Something to ponder before you go hunting for fans that deserve to be hunted down.

Wood, Gregg among baseball's worst closers. Kevin Gregg has taken a lot of heat from Cubs fans, especially the one at this blog, for his inability to get three outs in the ninth without giving up eight runs in the process. And while many Cub fans yearned for Kerry Wood's return -- things wouldn't necessarily have been better off.

RotoAuthority.com ranks baseball's worst ninth inning options, and you won't believe who you'll find there.

Wood ranks in the bottom five among closers in earned run average (4.23), WHIP (1.38), highest home run rate (1.58) and save percentage (75 percent). Gregg ranks among the worst in save percentage (81.5 percent) and HR rate (1.84).

And while I owe Jim Hendry somewhat of an apology for letting go of Wood, it would have been somewhat of a consolation to get draft picks for him rather than to let him go for nothing by not offering him arbitration. As for Gregg, who has given up more home runs this year (11) than he did the last two years combined (10), he had no place on this roster to begin with.

Hendry: I don't expect to make this team any better

Chicago Sun-Times beat writer Gordon Wittenmyer caught up with the Cubs GM (presumably at a donut shop ... where else are you gonna find GM Jim?) recently, only to find out that it looks like the Cubs are standing pat.

Hendry said he's checked the waiver wires for available players daily, ''and there was nothing that made any sense. And I'm not anticipating that it probably would. Hopefully, we're going to survive the injuries.''

Maybe if Hendry checked this blog, he might find some players that do make sense.

No changes? I don't understand why not. This team hasn't won a series from an opponent with a record above the .500 since May and has gaping holes in its rotation, bullpen and general bench depth. I can't fathom why the Cubs wouldn't need to make any additions to a team that currently sits four games behind the first place St. Louis Cardinals.

I recently read that Christian Guzman cleared waivers, and even though Washington doesn't want to trade him right now, I would at least entertain the idea of adding Guzman and moving Theriot to second base.

But that might make too much sense.

Editorial: Cubs fans need to re-route their anger

As an avid baseball fan, it's a rare occurrence when I admit openly that I cannot wait for the season to be over. But here I am doing so, if only to save my sanity from Cubs fans because their anger toward this ball club is misguided.

You can hate Alfonso Soriano as much as you want, but if not for his April (.955 OPS, 7 HRs) and July (.992 OPS, 5 HRs) performances, the Cubs would be Brooks & Dunn without the Brooks. Milton Bradley gets hit with the "you cost us Mark DeRosa" blame, yet it was Aaron Miles and Mike Fontenot that replaced DeRosa at second. Not Bradley. Bradley, did replace Jim Edmonds.

Say, what is Jimmy Baseball doing these days?

Anyway, if you really want someone to be angry with then direct it toward Jim Hendry, Lou Piniella and Sam Zell.

Piniella, Hendry To Be Indicted If Cubs Fall Flat

In baseball purgatory, they'll be the ones getting popped instead of the bubbly.

The verdict is in.

We, the people (a.k.a. Me) find manager Lou Piniella and GM Jim Hendry to be responsible for all shortcomings for the two-time defending National League Central Division champion Chicago Cubs.

If this was Law & Order, the show would end with Hendry and Piniella holding their heads in their hands and Jerry Orbach (R.I.P.) saying that the Cubs are in a better place right now.

And fade to black.

The Case Against Hendry

With a payroll hovering around the $130 million mark, Hendry has fielded a team with little depth, a shaky bullpen and without an everyday second baseman. And yet, the man is still employed by the Chicago Cubs.

The Cubs downgraded at several positions this offseason, which is part of the reason the team struggled early before fighting its way back into the race. And while most of the venom spewed by Cubs fans is directed toward Milton Bradley in lieu of the Mark DeRosa trade, it should have been steered toward Aaron Miles (.195/.236/.263 ), Mike Fontenot (.231/.300/.390 ) and Hendry -- who engineered the trade.

Again, I have no problem with the trade. I do have a problem with Hendry not properly replacing the production (.825 OPS as a second baseman in 2008) left behind.

Despite DeRosa's 21 home runs and 63 runs batted in, his batting average, on-base percentage and OPS have taken a major hit since leaving the ivy covered walls of Wrigley Field. Joining St. Louis hasn't helped DeRo's cause as he is hitting .229 with a .291 OBP and a .786 OPS. Not exactly setting the world on fire since putting on Cardinal red.

Hendry also allowed the team to open camp without a proven lefty reliever. If not for the emergence of Sean Marshall and the recent acquisition of John Grabow, the Cubs would have a grand total of zero lefty specialists. And other than Randy Wells, the Cubs' inability to develop home grown talent is evident once again.

Things such as throwing money hoping to cure problem areas and calling up players from the team's AAAA Pittsburgh club is what Hendry has excelled at. But this franchise's struggle at the minor league level is beyond puzzling.

The Case Against Lou Piniella

It seems to me that Sweet Uncle Lou is toeing the same line that Dusty Baker walked in his tenure in Chicago. Just like Dusty, he "changed the culture" that had surrounded the ballclub. Under Piniella's watch, the Cubs have done everything from manning up to the shortcomings to drawing walks -- all in the name of winning a pair of division titles.

However, things have changed this year. And while it is easy (and relevant) to point out that Hendry handed Piniella a craptastic bullpen, it didn't mean Piniella had to abuse and misuse it. Not having Grabow ready, then bringing him in when it was too little, too late, was the tip of the iceberg.

Piniella has leaned too much on Carlos Marmol, who despite 64 strikeouts in 58 1/3 innings, has found a way to lead the league in hit batsmen. He has also had to lean a lot on Kevin Gregg, who has allowed 11 home runs, the most by any NL reliever. The combo that was supposed to be the rock at the back end of the bullpen, has gone soft.

It only took the Cubs until July to figure out that putting guys with high OBPs in front of the middle of the line-up thumpers would lead to a more efficient offense. It's like Piniella went to baseball-reference.com, lined up the players from highest OBP down and then wrote a line up card.

And despite all this crap, the Cubs are still only three games out of first place with about a month and a half of baseball remaining, which features 37 (!) games against teams under .500.

TBDS Late Night Returns To Present: The Sky Is Falling Over Wrigleyville...

She'll make everything feel better, won't she? (via this site)

Call your friends. Call your neighbors. Call your parents. Call your sons and daughters, too. Heck, give them that child support check you've been meaning to give them for the last 18 years.

The Chicago Cubs are down 6-0 to the Colorado Rockies and are in danger of falling three (!) games behind the NL Central leading St. Louis Cardinals.

It's time to board up the house, stock up on canned goods and bottled water. Let's go hunker down in the basement until the coast is clear.

Cubs fans, allow me to be the voice of reason that is dying to escape your soul but instead gets intimidated by tales of goats, black cats and fans wearing headphones.

Of the next 20 games the Cubs will play, 13 will come against teams that are under .500. Want another lucky 13 you superstitious sonsofbitches? The Cubs will play 13 home games in that span, 10 of which will come against teams that are below the break-even point as of press time.

When September rolls around, 11 of the first 12 games the Cubs will play will be against the Astros, Mets, Pirates and Reds. Each of those teams ... you guessed it ... below the .500 mark.

In 2007, the Cubs were 8.5 games behind first place Milwaukee on June 23. They also had a season-long seven-game losing streak from May 27 to June 2.

Cubs fans, you act like you haven't seen your team with their backs against the wall. You also act like the 1927 Yankees are ahead of you. Contrary to popular belief, Albert Pujols is human. So is Matt Holliday. As is Adam Wainwright, Chris Carpenter and Adam Wainwright.

And it's not like Tony LaRussa hasn't ever made a mistake in his life. Ever.

Young scribe SalukiOrphan detailed five reasons why the Cardinals would win the NL Central. He made good points until:

The Cardinals have one of the most storied histories in Major League Baseball. They have 10 World Series Titles (would be 11 if not for Don Denkinger), most in National League history and second only to the New York Yankees, who have 26. The Cubs have a lot of history as well, unfortunately for them most of it goes against their favor. Chicago has been brought down with everything from goats to cats to guys named Bartman. The Cardinals also have 17 NL pennants and 10 division titles (seven NL Central, three NL East), while the cubs have 16 NL pennants (none since 1945) and five division titles (three NL Central, two NL East).

Not sure what the past has to do with the 2009 season. But if that is helping make decisions and projections around here, then by that logic, I like the Cubs' chances (19,870 wins in franchise history) more than I like the Cardinals' (19,464).

But it's not about that. See, that little nugget section is a little sample of hypocrisy.

See, the SalukiOrphan rails on the Cubs and their fans for using the team's past an excuse for its failures. Yet, conveniently, the Orphan uses it to show why the Cards will win the division. I guess I shouldn't expect anything more than lazy blogging from a Cardinals fan. That's the kind of lazy blogging that grinds my gears. Especially when it is coming from the same fan base that will lustily boo Manny "The Cheater" Ramirez, but then will give a slurping standing ovation to Rick Ankiel and Ryan Franklin.

My fellow Cubs fans, it's time to take a chill pill. Everything is gonna be OK. More tomorrow on Jay Mariotti, The List and another NFL Preview. Go to sleep now, kiddies. The sun will rise tomorrow.

G-G-G-G-G(orzelanny) Unit Stands Strong In Debut

In 2007, Tom Gorzelanny won 14 games for the Pittsburgh Pirates -- a team that lost 94 games and finished in dead last. On Aug. 4, 2009, Gorzelanny made his debut with the Chicago Cubs, and while it is only one start, the newest Cub to don the No. 22 jersey pitched a lot like this one guy who also once proudly wore No. 22.

And no, I'm not talking about Kevin Hart, either.

Gorzelanny tossed 7 1/3 strong innings in the Cubs' 6-3 win against the Reds. He allowed one run, scattered three hits and struck out six batters. The most important statistic, however, is that Gorzelanny allowed only one walk. At the plate, he went 1-for-3 with a walk and a run batted in.

He threw first-pitch strike after first-pitch strike, showing flashes of why the Pirates made him a second-round pick in 2003. It also showed why the Pirates haven't made the playoffs since my mom rolled around town in a black Chevy Corsica with a tape deck.

Despite this being the smallest of sample sizes, there is very little doubt in my mind that Gorzelanny can (and will) become the next discarded Pirate to have his star shine with the Cubs. If he does so, he will follow in the footsteps of Aramis Ramirez, Kenny Lofton, and to an extent, Randall Simon.

In six years with the Pirates, A-Ram had a .263 batting average, .314 on-base percentage, .435 slugging percentage and a .747 OPS. Ever since putting on Cubbie blue pin stripes, Ramirez has hit .300, on-based at a .364 clip, posted a .554 slugging percentage and OPSed .915 while watching his errors drop from a career high 33 in 2003, to a career best 10 in 2007.

In 2003, Lofton batted .277 with the Pirates. After coming along in the Ramirez trade, he hit .327, posted a .381 on-base percentage and an .852 OPS as a center fielder.

Even Randall Simon enjoyed success as a Cub. In 33 games he slugged 6 home runs and hit .282. In 91 games with Pittsburgh, he hit .274 with 10 home runs.

Long story, short: Gorzelanny has a lot to live up to when compared to the former Pirates the Cubs have saved in the past. But if baseball's favorite minor league affiliate model has taught us anything, Gorzelanny is bound to succed if only because he's out of Pittsburgh.

The Tom Gorzelanny Era Begins Tonight In Cincinnati

Will Tom Gorzelanny become the next former-Pirate to become a star in Cubbie blue pinstripes?

The Great American Ball Park has been a house of horrors for Tom Gorzelanny (nine runs, 4.1 innings pitched), so it's only fitting that Chicago's newest left-handed starter is making his first start as a Cub against the Reds tonight, right?

Gorzelanny is the local boy hoping to do good for his hometown Cubbies, who he should know a thing or two about inauspicious starts. But I've got some good news for the Evergreen Park, Ill., native.

You're out of Pittsburgh. No longer will you be backed by futile management, mundane managers or a depleted fan base that hasn't had anything to cheer for since Barry Bonds skipped town.

Welcome to a fan base that demands winning and will accept nothing less than a championship.

We've seen a winning environment spark Matt Holliday's 20-for-37 start as a Cardinal after leaving Oakland. I can't be the only Cubs fan wondering whether or not a winning environment can do to Gorzelanny what it had done for Aramis Ramirez.

Ramirez went from a lazy defender with good offensive skills in Pittsburgh to a franchise cornerstone who has provided Gold Glove defense in the last two years ever since coming to Chicago.

Using that logic, Gorzelanny will turn into a slimmer version of C.C. Sabathia any minute now.

Good luck, and godspeed, Tommy.

Cubs Send Down Hart; Call Up Grabow, Gorzelanny

Evergreen Park, Ill., native Tom Gorzelanny pitches for AAAA Pittsburgh.

And who says the Chicago Cubs have a piss poor minor league system?

GM Jim Hendry proved the skeptics wrong today as he announced that the Cubs called up left-handed reliever John Grabow and lefty starter Tom Gorzelanny from the team's Quadruple-A affiliate in Pittsburgh.

In a corresponding move, the Cubs sent Kevin Hart, Jose Ascanio and Marvin Josh Harrison to Pittsburgh.

This might be the last time the Cubs use the Quad-A squad this year, but Cubs fans can look to the future as prospects like outfielder Andrew McCutchen, third baseman Pedro Alvarez wait in the wings along with pitchers Matt Capps, Zach Duke, Paul Maholm and Brad Lincoln.

Memo To Jim Hendry: I Found Your Left-Handed Bat

There's a firesale in Cleveland. Everything must go. Except for LeBron James, of course. He's not leaving until next year.

Mark DeRosa, Rafael Betancourt, Ryan Garko and Cliff Lee have escaped the Mistake By The Lake -- and that means Victor Martinez should be next. At this rate, if I were Cubs GM Jim Hendry, I'd at least make a call about center fielder Grady Sizemore and see if you can strike while the stove is hot.

But my focuse right now just might be on the 30-year-old catcher that will make what remains on the $4.5 million left on this year's contract and the $7 million on next years. He would look fine sandwiched between Derrek Lee and Aramis Ramirez. (No homo.)

Yes, I understand the Cubs have Geovany Soto coming back from injury soon, but why not build the trade around him? Switch-hitting catchers whose career batting average sits at a cool .297 don't grow on trees.

Geo, cash considerations and friends for V-Mart. Get it done, Jimbo!

Roy Halladay Ain't Comin, But The Cubs Could Fleece The Pirates Yet Again

Upon hearing trade rumors, Ryan Doumit is begging Zach Duke to take him with if he gets traded to Chicago.

Roy Halladay has been ticketed to go anywhere and everywhere that isn't the North Side of Chicago. It's almost sad, too, seeing that each of the Chicago Cubs' top four starters has spent time on the disabled list.

But off in the distance, help might be on its way. And if the Washington Nationals are baseball's starter girlfriend, that means the Pittsburgh Pirates are baseball's neighborhood pusher. Because whenever you need it the Pirates got it and are willing to give it to you.

Not long ago, the Cubs turned Bobby Hill, Matt Brokeback Bruback and Jose Hernandez into Aramis Ramirez and Kenny Lofton. Lofton turned into the lead-off man the Cubs still haven't had since 2003 and Ramirez has become a franchise cornerstone.

And no one has ever heard from those "prospects" ever again.

Fast forward to 2009 and the Cubs have their eyes on another coup of the Pirates' ship.

With Ted Lilly hitting the DL, there is an apparent interest in lefty starters Zach Duke and Tom Gorzelanny. Duke has come across some rough times since going 8-2 with a 1.81 earned run average as a rookie, but that's to be expected from a franchise that hasn't won anything since Roberto Clemente roamed right field.

After going 18-37 after his freshman campaign, Duke has posted a 9-9 record, 3.42 ERA and 1.227 WHIP for the bottom-feeding Bucco's. As for Gorzelanny, the Evergreen Park, Ill., is wasting away in the minors somewhere -- like most Pirates prized prospects.

The Cubs also might have an interest in Freddy Sanchez, as the team is in search of offensive production out of the second base slot. Same can be said about lefty specialist John Grabow and probably closer Matt Capps.

The purging of the Pirates is already underway (as Phil Rogers points out) as Pittsburgh has already traded Nate McLouth and Adam LaRoche for a 1970s Pinto and a steaming pile of garbage to be named later.

So, here I am, wondering whether or not Jim Hendry can take Neal Huntington to the woodshed for one more Pirate heist.

My prediction: Duke, Grabow, Capps and Sanchez for Aaron Miles and David Patton.

Let's get it done, Jimbo!

Whipping Boys Lead Cubs Back Into First Place

Kevin Gregg, my bad. Most of the season, you've been among the most frustrating player I've ever witnessed as a Cubs fan. You wear goofy goggles and your throwing motion has been compared to one of a batting practice pitcher.

But even I, your biggest detractor, can't help but give you a tip of the cap for what you have done.

Believe it or not, Gregg has gotten better as the season has moved on. In April, his batting average against was .282 and that has dropped to .169 in July. On May 1, his earned run average was a robust 5.91. Now it sits at 3.42. Over the last month, Gregg has a 1.84 ERA, a 0.95 WHIP while racking up 10 saves and punching out 14 hitters in 15 innings pitched.

Not bad for a guy that nobody wanted.

He'll never be confused for Mariano Rivera, but if he continues to get three outs without blowing the lead in the ninth, the Cubs all of a sudden have one of the NL's best bullpens with Carlos Marmol and Angel Guzman turning nine-inning games into six-inning games.

Then there's Milton Bradley. The only person taking more grief than me for supporting Crazy Uncle Milton is Milton himself. It's hard enough when opposing fans are riding you hard, but Bradley's in a no-win situation with Chicago fans. But slowly and surely, he's starting to get work done.

Over the last month, his batting average has been a pedestrian .258, but his on-base percentage has been an outstanding .417 . He's drawn 18 walks in 19 July games to bump that OBP all the way up to a team-best .382. Two of the walks he drew today came into score, one of which came as he scored from first on Alfonso Soriano's double to left due in part to an excellent slide.

He might not be scorching the baseball, but if Bradley (who's hitting .307 in home games) can get on base at a 40-percent clip in front of Soriano in the six spot.

Speaking of Alfonso Soriano, it looks as if he really has taken a liking to being a middle-of-the-line-up thumper.

The former lead-off man came into today's action batting .392 in the six-hole and that will get a nice boost after a 2-for-4 day at the plate today. He's slugging .692 out of his new home in the order and if he keeps it up, he will clearly surpass the .560 slugging percentage he posted in his last year as a Washington National and first year as a Chicago Cub.

Finally, we end with Rich Harden, whose acquisition was much-ballyhooed last July. This year has been an up-and-down kind of thing for Harden. But in his last three starts, Harden has been flat out nasty.

• 6 IP 3 H 1 R 0 ER 7 K 0 BB (W @ WSH 7/16)
• 7 IP 4 H 1 R 1 ER 6 K 2 BB (ND @ PHI 7/21)
• 6 IP 1 H 1 R 1 ER 8 K 0 BB (W vs. CIN 7/26)

That's a 0.526 WHIP, 10.5 K/BB ratio and a 0.95 ERA in his last three starts.

Despite having each of their top three starters see DL time this year, missing its biggest offensive threat player for a majority of the year, the whining and crying of Mark DeRosa fanboys and jersey chasers ... the Chicago Cubs find themselves in first place.

Here's hoping it can stay that way.

Cubs 5 Reds 2 [ESPN]

Defending Milton Bradley

I'm pretty sure I might be Milton Bradley's only fan.

I might never understand my fellow Cubs fans. No, not the beer-swilling, babe-chasing Wrigleyville Chads. Instead, I'm having trouble finding a common ground with the baseball enthusiasts, especially when it comes to Milton Bradley.

There is no denying being disappointed with Bradley's performance this season. Cubs fans expected more than a .246 hitter after he signed a three-year $30 million deal coming off a season in which he led the American League in on-base percentage (.436) and OPS (.999). Bradley's struggles are amplified even more when compared to the numbers Bobby Abreu, Adam Dunn and Raul Ibanez are putting up this season.

There was a segment of Cubs fans that were giggly when Steve Stone created a monster (via Twitter) that said "Rumor is that tigers are interested in trading for milton bradley. Cubs should fly him in a private jet." and Bradley was not in Saturday's starting line-up.

Statistically, there is no doubt in my mind that the Cubs need an upgrade out of right field -- a position they have struggled to fill since Sammy Sosa walked out on the team in 2004. And a small sample size indicates Bradley is starting to come out of his season-long funk. His OBP has gone up every month, which suggests his eye at the plate is getting better.

But for a fanbase that has reamed players like Alfonso Soriano and Aramis Ramirez for the perception of not trying hard, how can said fanbase turn around and rip Bradley, who manager Lou Piniella claims part of his issues come from his passion to be perfect. When asked about his struggles in the media, Bradley doesn't blame anyone but himself. His fielding deficiencies, blamed no one but himself.

I was once told a good worker doesn't blame his tools. Bradley has had a billion opportunities to do so this year. But he hasn't. As a Cubs fan, I appreciate someone putting out a 100 percent effort despite their shortcomings. It would be easy for Crazy Uncle Milton to shut it down and collect what's remaining on his contract.

But that's not the kind of player he is, and Cubs fans should applaud that.

TBDS Late Night: The Cubs' Coffers Have Gone Dry

Apparently, Jim Hendry was still drunk when he signed Milton Bradley.

At 49-45, the Chicago Cubs are reminding me of a simpler time in my life. A time in which mediocre Cubs baseball reigned supreme and while there was help to be had in the open market, it never came to Chicago.

It is apparent to me that the Cubs have returned to their roots as a small market team.

Say what?

That was a hard sentence to write, especially after the spending sprees that landed Alfonso Soriano, Ted Lilly and Kosuke Fukudome. Chicago has followed an offseason that featured overpaying for Ryan Dempster and Milton Bradley, and totally missing the boat on Bobby Abreu, Adam Dunn and Raul Ibanez by watching the two teams they're battling for NL Central supremacy make moves that help their respective teams.

Felipe Lopez to the Brewers and Mark DeRosa to the Cardinals are good moves because their addition allows their manager to utilize their versatility. But the Matt Holliday deal is the one that sparks the fire. Yes, he replaces the power productivity the Redbirds expected out of third baseman Troy Glaus, but his acquisition gives the Cardinals a boost that hasn't been around since Mark McGwire left town.

Except this time, that boost is legal.

It's hard for me to believe that the Cubs are crying poor. Every member of management has said that payroll won't hold the Cubs back from contending. Forever, Cubs fans were told the Cubs were run seperately from the Tribune Co. that owned them.

The Cubs rank in the top five in TV revenue, merchandising revenue, advertising revenue and sell out every frickin' ball game. So, how come there isn't money in the bank to bring on something more than a John Baker onto this squad?

Simply put, the Cubs' free-wheeling ways was just a mirage. It sold tickets. It won games. It made headlines. It made money. It didn't matter that the Cubs were finally relevant again ... and not because of a one-man show or an all-time great announcer. Cubs fans were finally rewarded for 20+ years of Tribune Co. futility with a good product on the field.

So, right now, I'll ask the Cubs to make a decision. You can either act like one of the big boys, or you can take your money, pocket it and leave me and Cubdom alone.

There is no reason for the team in the third largest market to be acting like a second-rate city like Milwaukee or St. Louis. Sorry, that doesn't cut it with me. Nor should it fly with my fellow Cubs fans.

Here is your dosage of quality linkage:

• Ben Roethlishotdog got himself in some doo-doo. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]
• Kobe doin' work on some kid in the Phillipines. [With Leather]
• Barry Bonds throwback video. Pre-bobble head days. [You Been Blinded]
• Was the Erin Andrews video an inside job? [SportsByBrooks]