Happy Birthday America!

Jessica Simpson is still hot! (via Chickipedia)

Just one question: WTF are you doing in front of a computer?

Go out, bust out the grill and cook some dogs and burgers. If you don't have a grill, find someone who does ... but don't come to the party empty handed. OK?

Enjoy this pic of Jessica Simpson, responsibly, of course. And have a Happy 4th of July.

Until a later date, here are some links to satisfy your hunger.

• Turk spurns Blazers for Raptors as his descent from NBA Finals to borderline eighth seed begins July 8. [ESPN]
• Speaking of descent, Alfonso Soriano is dropping down in the order, all the way to sixth with the Fukustick's .380 OBP goes to the top. [Chicago Sun-Times]
  
• How athletes prevent sunburn. [Deadspin]

That's it. I'm done. I'm gonna get the festivities started. Take care, America!

Announcements!

Alright, it's a busy week here at The Big Dead Sidebar.

I'm trying to get schoolwork done as this semester comes to a close to a hurry. I'm trying to get my name out there with my resume and such so I can hopefully land an internship or a job somewhere once I graduate

Then there's actual work, as I must balance responsiblities between school and work, not to mention balancing basketball coverage and football coverage. Yeah, I'm busy.

Did I mention we're going to New York City to see SIU play Duke at Madison Square Garden? Oh, I didn't? Well it's kind of a big deal.

So why am I giving you an announcement?

Well, so you can look at this pretty girl, of course. And so I can tell you a lot of the posts this week will be pre-written and autoposted.

Don't be sad. If news breaks, we'll be here.

Keep it classy, folks.

I guess he's a Romosexual

If there's one thing I can't stand it's when a guy's ball-hogging.

If you're name is Kobe and your teammates suck then it's OK, but when your name is Tony Romo and you're hogging two of the hottest blondes in the southwest, it's uncalled for.

It looks like Romo's current flame (Jessica Simpson) and ex (Carrie Underwood) are going to be sparring over the Dallas Cowboys QB again.

Jess and Carrie have been going back-and-forth since Carrie and Romo broke up. Like that whole "Real Girls Eat Meat"* shirt Simpson sported after Underwood won the Sexiest Vegetarian Award. Underwood's response: Tony's still calling me.

Ladies, there are only two ways to solve this:

1. Cat fight: Bikinis, KY Jelly and Pay Per View. I'd like two tickets, please.
2. One of you decides to get over Romo and date me. At least I don't fumble when the game's on the line.

Holla.

Jessica Simpson & Tony Romo are laughing at Carrie Underwood [i Village]

Daily Dosage: Back To The Drawing Board

Happy Birthday, Jessica Simpson. You're 28 today! Is that whipped cream going on your birthday cake or elsewhere? I'm crossing my fingers and hoping for elsewhere...

In an effort to match what their NL Central rivals are doing, the St. Louis Cardinals started a former Cy Young candidate as they attempt to make a name for themselves in what is shaping up to be one of the best races in baseball.

Unfortunately for Mark Mulder, it only lasted 16 pitches as the Phillies beat the Cards 4-2.

Cardinal Nation, if you're looking for sympathy from me you're not going to get it. Well, maybe just a little because Agent Mulder is a Chicagoland native. But for years, Cubs fans like myself had to deal with the constant Mark Prior and Kerry Wood catcalls from the fans and from Steve Kline. Remember his "I hope he takes a line drive and we never have to see him again" comment? I do.

Josh Hamilton Revisited. In this post on May 28th, I wondered aloud how good Rangers outfielder Josh Hamilton would look patrolling center field at The Friendly Confines. Hamilton continues to look like the one that got away, especially after Wednesday night's walk-off home run against Angels closer Francisco Rodriguez.

The Hamilton Line: .307 20 HR 89 RBI .364 OBP .547 .911 OPS
Felix Pie + Reed Johnson + Jim Edmonds: .251 12 HR 62 RBI (Do I have to go on? I didn't think so.)


Quality Linkage

• If Brett Favre comes back, where does he go in your fantasy draft? (The Hazean)
• Rappers T.I. and Killer Mike give back to the hood. (The Smoking Section)
• When padding your resume goes wrong. (Chicago Sun-Times)
• C-Rod's family is "devastated." (NY Post) My fam would feel the same way if I divorced $275 million.
• Sports columnists are endangered species. (Columbia Journalism Review)
• Lost in St. Louis' love for booze, the Sporting News is leaving for Charlotte. (Money Central on MSN)