BREAKING: Geovany Soto And The Stickiest Of The Ickiest

For all the basketball eyes that we've grabbed today, here is a story that might take you back to the days of the Portland Trail Blazers of not too long ago.

Someone cue the Damon Stoudamire flashback:

Cubs catcher Geovany Soto tested positive for marijuana use while playing for Puerto Rico during the World Baseball Classic last March, the International Baseball Federation announced Thursday.

Soto released a statement saying he was "embarrassed by my lapse in judgment."

"While I full acknowledge my inappropriate behavior, I want to assure my fans and my family that this was an isolated incident," he said.

So to recap our non-basketball related stories:

• Multi-millionaire athletes are often spotted with attractive, provocatively dressed women.
• They also like to smoke up.

Let's be real Geo, you've made worse decisions in your life. Like swinging at face-high fastballs and 55-foot breaking balls. Maybe you should consult Dr. Snoop in filling your next prescription.

Hey, the Cubs need to rejuvenate that offense somehow.

Geovany Soto Tested Positive For Pot At WBC [Chicago Sun-Times]

Manny Being Mommy? Ramirez allegedly busted with fertility drug

I'm a busy man, but I needed to bust in with that headline before someone took it. (Probably already done.)

I've always wondered why people who take Viagra and Enzyte don't get the cold shoulder for taking "performance enhancing drugs" in the bedroom. It's the same concept right?

Take it away, Yahoo! Sports:

"Testosterone and similar drugs are effective for erectile dysfunction in that they jazz up your sex drive,” said Charles Yesalis, a professor at Penn State who has testified before Congress on issues of performance-enhancing drugs. “But far more clinicians accept that affect with Viagra and Cialis. It’s hard for me to understand if it was erectile dysfunction why they would use it."

And kudos to ESPN for doing what the self-proclaimed World Wide Leader in sports is supposed to do. No gimmicks. No bull. Straight reporting. Love it.

"[T]wo sources told ESPN's T.J. Quinn and Mark Fainaru-Wada that the drug used by Ramirez is HCG -- human chorionic gonadotropin. HCG is a women's fertility drug typically used by steroid users to restart their body's natural testosterone production as they come off a steroid cycle. It is similar to Clomid, the drug Bonds, Giambi and others used as clients of BALCO."

As for who's next to get busted, my guess is porn stars, who will then ask for a federal bailout for their industry.